“I’m 26 years old and I don’t have it figured out.” That’s something I would’ve said a few months ago. It’s daunting, especially when you’re supposedly at the age of settling down and mastering your craft. There’s the pressure of wanting to make your parents proud and the agony of being looked down on by those who have it “figured out”.
At the time, I was living in Las Vegas where I was lacking support, love, true friends, and clarity. I went through a depressed stage and even had suicidal thoughts. I saw the world as a hurtful place and I felt I couldn’t open up to anyone. I was misunderstood and believed there were a million things wrong with me.
The truth is, I have a degree and was once working as a software engineer — earning decent money to live a comfortable lifestyle. I’m forever grateful for having the opportunity, but it just didn’t fulfill me. I cringed at the thought of going into work and my career slowly affected my health negatively. I was lost and felt I couldn’t relate to anyone.
Deep down, I had a gut-feeling that I wasn’t aligned with my life’s purpose and I knew that I had to search for it. Travel was definitely calling my name, but the thought of leaving security for an uncertain path was off-putting. It meant I had to start over, struggle, go broke, make sacrifices, and possibly never find my purpose.
Most people thought I was wasting my life away, but I knew that passively existing and not pursuing my life’s purpose was a waste of a life itself. I would rather fail than live a life of regret.Looking back, I now know there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. I just wasn’t where I was supposed to be and hadn’t allowed my true self to shine.
If you feel lost, lonely, depressed, alienated, empty, or scared, listen to your inner voice. It could be crying for change. You might not be aligned with your authentic self or may not be where you want to be. Sometimes things have to fall apart so the Universe can bring things into place, but they will never come together unless you are able to let go and accept what’s meant to be.
If I wanted change in my life, I knew that I had to act on it. How could I expect different results if I continued doing what I was doing? I woke up one day feeling, “Enough is enough”. I left my job and started prioritizing travel. I had this idea of exploring and moving to New Zealand temporarily. I don’t know how I came across the idea, but I took it as a sign. I’m naturally an indecisive person, but strangely enough, I had a strong urge to go.
A few weeks later, I found myself flying on a one-way ticket to Auckland. I now live with my aunt, uncle, and cousins — it’s been nothing but a true blessing for me since. I absolutely love and adore my family back home, but I don’t think they understood what I was going through — a change of environment was crucial at this point in my life. When you’re going through significant changes, you need people who are going to love and support you on your journey.
Since moving to New Zealand, I have been surrounded by many life teachers. I’ve learned that spirituality is a huge core value of mine and coincidentally, I connect with my aunt and uncle on a spiritual level. They totally understand my newfound fascination with the Law of Attraction, Ayurveda Medicine, meditation, wellness, etc. and were already huge supporters of it before I even came here. Also, I’ve always loved yoga, traveling, astrology writing, self-growth, and reading — all of which my aunt and uncle are into as well. It’s almost as if they were my parents in a past life. This is huge for me, especially because I grew up feeling like I couldn’t relate to anyone and didn’t belong anywhere.
I’ve met so many people going through the same struggles as me in New Zealand. I now realize that I’m not alone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I just hadn’t found my tribe and wasn’t living at my full potential. So far, I’ve connected with people who I instantly bonded with. Those who also prioritize travel, love taking a million pictures, will do yoga with me, read books on self-growth, talk about spirituality and astrology, and most importantly, those who are searching for purpose and meaning in their lives. I honestly haven’t felt this connected to people in my life — I truly feel I was brought to New Zealand for a reason.
Back then I hid my authentic self from the world just to fit in and feel normal. But hiding yourself only causes distress because you are put here on earth to shine your light. You are here to share your story and let the world benefit from your gifts and talents. If people can’t accept you for who you are, they don’t deserve to be in your life. There are people out there who are going to love you for you and it’s immensely gratifying. So why not attract those people to you instead?
I no longer feel lost. I’m now doing the things that light me up and have been connecting with those who make me feel important. Traveling has definitely broadened my knowledge and has opened new opportunities for me. For once, I know that I belong and was put here on earth for a reason, but none of this would have happened if I hadn’t let go of who society thought I was supposed to be and followed my heart.
It’s clear now that my purpose in life is to not only heal myself, but to help others heal through my writing. The world needs me cracked open — sharing my story and helping others who crave purpose in life. I now understand that the pain I felt before was just the Universe’s way of teaching me so that I can help others with their journey and hopefully make them feel a little less alone.
I’m not saying you need to travel across the world, like New Zealand, to solve your problems. It really starts from within, but it also helps to see things from a different a perspective sometimes. I just decided to let go of the things that weren’t working out and let the Universe guide me to where I’m supposed to be. Luckily, it led me to one of the most beautiful countries in the world!
When you feel too many things going wrong in your life — no matter what age you are — whether it’s your career, friendships, love life, or whatever it may be, know this feeling is normal and you are not alone. Being lost in life sometimes means you are beginning a journey to self-discovery. So get out there and travel, meet new people, discover your authentic self, surround yourself with people who are going to support all your wildest dreams, find your ultimate purpose in life, and shine your light bright enough for the whole world to see.